I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Nicole vs. Life
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
