I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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