Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
