What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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