This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
