Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
