Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
