spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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