Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
