I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize