if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
