White coat. Heels.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
