Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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