i think i have herpe
just one?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
