I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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