he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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