very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
