hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
