Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
