i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
