you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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