I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
