Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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