she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
