Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
