Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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