If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize