do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
