i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
