She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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