Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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