I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
