I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
