angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
