Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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