Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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