4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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