Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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