I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
