I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
