Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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