yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
