We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
