I think my vagina is haunted
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
