I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
