A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
