it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
