i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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