watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
