Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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