If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
