That's when you crack a 10am beer
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
