i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
