that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
