The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
