He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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