that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
