Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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