better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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