My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize